3 Olives Loopy Vodka. *Sigh…here we go.

As I close my eyes and breathe in the rich scents of this “naturally” flavored Vodka, my free association leads me to images of Toucan Sam smashed out of his mind. I also see Charles Bukowski waking up and making himself breakfast.

Nose

First whiff gives off a strong smell of soggy Fruit Loops that have been sitting in milk for a long time, with the addition of quadruple distilled, English luxury neutral grain spirit.

Second whiff reveals citrus car air freshener and Pine Sol all purpose cleanser with just a hint of dryer sheet. Nuanced.

Mouth

It really does taste like Fruit Loops, but which one? Fruity Confetti? Tropical Forest? Jungleberry Swirls? Melonberry Pink? I’d say Rainbow Forest for sure. Quite sweet and syrupy, perhaps somewhere between a flavored vodka and a liqueur, with the Pine Sol making a second cameo. Accompanying the essence of Fruit Loops is mixed pasteurized citrus, heavy on the lemon and grapefruit, along with somethingreminiscent of Purple Drank, Kool-Aid and SunnyD. Hmmm Kelloggs, Procter & Gamble and Kraft Foods, 3 of the largest consumer products makers all repped in one bottle of vodka? Sounds like a good time, tastes like a bad one.

Recipes:

WhiteTrash Russian

1 oz 3 Olives Loopy Vodka

1 oz Coffee Liqueur

1 oz Cream

Build in a rocks glass

Garnish with…Fruit Loops?

Brunch In The Trailer Park

1.5 oz 3 Olives Loopy Vodka

1 oz Cream

.5 oz Simple syrup

.25 Lemon Juice

.25 Lime Juice

1 egg white

5 drops orange flower water

Dry shake, shake with ice for a really long time

Strain into a chilled highball glass, no ice

Top with soda

Garnish with a single Fruit Loop

Not in the mood for a Zima or Smirnoff Ice?

Jailbait Highball

2 oz 3 Olives Loopy Vodka

Top with Lemon Lime Soda

Garnish with…Fruit Loops