No, you are not a lush if you drink alone in a bar. However, I'm not really advocating spending 24/7 with a drink in your hand at your local bar. What I am saying, is that there are some very good reasons to drink alone in a bar every once in a while.


Get Out of Your Head
I don't know how many of you are like me, but I worry to the Nth degree - about important stuff, about stupid stuff, about everything. When you are in your own head everything is about you and your problems, however minor or out of your control, they become bigger than they actually are. In the grand scheme of things what we are focusing on is quite trivial. If you need help seeing that just go to your neighborhood bar one afternoon. Sit at the bar and listen to others and if someone strikes a conversation, lend an ear. You'll be amazed at what you hear - that the barman is recovering from cancer, that the group of firemen just got back from a funeral. I'm not saying hearing about people dealing with worse problems than your own is how you feel better about yourself - in fact, hearing about the good times in people's lives is great too. Just recently a man told me of his trip back to his family's home in Ireland and how his cousin was a little wary of relatives visiting. I was intrigued and as I listened I forgot about myself for a bit.

Perspective
This goes hand and hand with getting out of your head. It's all about perspective. The barman who has cancer, who is on his feet all day and was thrilled that it finally doesn't hurt to talk - because boy does he do a lot of talking - that's a positive perspective on life. Putting yourself in another's shoes for even a moment shakes up your perspective. Whether you think someone's life is good or bad, the fact that you are thinking of someone else's life and not your own helps you see yourself in a different light.

Meeting Different People
The best drinking alone happens in bars you might not normally go to. For me, it's not a cocktail bar, it's a pub. Why? Because I don't want to drink with folks like me when I'm drinking alone. That's not to say that you won't find someone you can connect with at a bar you wouldn't normally go to. I think that's just the point. For some reason, and I like to think because there's a comfort in a dark place where alcohol flows, people let down their defenses. They are honest and real. And for all of us running around like crazy juggling work, family, friends, etc. we need to learn to be real about ourselves. Once we are real we actually find we have a lot more in common with each other.

Take a Break
When all else fails in life, sometimes you just need a break from you. There's no need to run away and move to Hawaii (although I have thought about it!), but you do need a break sometimes. A dark bar, where you don't know anyone, is a good break. I took a much needed break the other day and boy did it do wonders. I was at the bar long enough to have some beer and eat a sandwich. I didn't converse a lot until the very end, but it was nice to be there silent while others chatted and I could just take it all in. While I do enjoy sitting in a park or by the water in solitude when I want to take a break, sometimes a dark bar gives you a different kind of break. Don't knock it 'til you try it!

Eating & Drinking Alone
Finally, and this might seem like a throwaway to others, but I feel is sadly lacking in our society - learning to dine alone. Eating and drinking alone is scary for some people. I remember when I asked friends a couple years ago how many had gone to a restaurant or bar alone and very few did. In NYC it is much more common, but even here you would be amazed. I do believe that everyone needs to learn how to be comfortable being alone in public, especially being able to have a meal. Also, as a lover of food and drink, there's something about experiencing it by yourself. When you are with others you forget to taste your food and drink - alone, that's all you can focus on.

Featured image of McSorley's Old Ale House where I took a wonderful break from me the other day. Located at 15 East 7th Street in Manhattan.