Well last week may make it seem like I never get paid, which isn’t true but it rarely happens. In September however I was contacted by reps for Kinky Liqueur’s new Gold brand. Sure it may be a club brand that isn’t exactly getting hipsters hot and bothered under their suspenders, but they offered good money. Also note, they paid for just the recipes not this article. This I’m doing because I think there’s a moment for mutual learning here. That lesson being that good can come from bad.

 
This is something I have always believed in doing this site/show thing. The MxMo Crass to Craft really spoke to me because something we try to do here is redeem “lousy” cocktail ingredients. Largely I think we’ve had a lot of success, thus I was excited when Kinky approached me cash or no. I’d had the blood orange/pink before and I remember not being revolted by it. Once I tasted the Gold I saw a lot of potential. It has notes of orange, mango, passion fruit, even a mild sourness of it’s own to go with it’s sweet. I tried to use it like I might my passion fruit syrup while boosting and hiding certain aspects of it’s flavor. I think both versions are successful. The final names all had to be changed to be more branded, but originally this was the Kuko Punch. Kuko in Hawaiian means lust or desire which I though was in line with the brand though not as blunt.

Also my pal Trader Magnus told me Kuko means dick in Swedish. So remember folks to get a daily Dick Punch.

Kuko Punch
1 oz Cruzan Virgin Islands Gold Rum
1 oz Myers Dark Jamaican rum
¾ oz Kinky Gold
¾ oz fresh lime juice
½ oz fresh orange juice
½ oz honey syrup (1 part honey mixed with an equal amount of very hot but not boiling water)

Shake with ice and pour unstrained into a chimney glass. Add crushed ice to fill and top with a cherry and mint sprig.

Brown sugar, passion fruit, and mango greet the nose. The liqueur itself has sort of a mango/passion fruit bent to it on it’s own. So orange and honey play into that very well. Now normally I love Coruba and Appleton extra. This is one of those few drinks where the overly sweetened, molasses rich, myers really adds a lot in aroma and taste. It helps aid in a rich front before the notes of tropical and citrusy fruit shake their groove things in the finish. This is an easy to make, light, fun drink. I prefer something… slightly different.

Kuko Punch #2
1 oz Mount Gay gold Barbados rum
1 ½ oz Coruba Dark Jamaican rum
¾ oz Kinky Gold
¾ oz fresh lime juice
½ oz fresh orange juice
½ oz honey syrup (1 part honey mixed with an equal amount of very hot but not boiling water)
8 to 10 drops Bittermen’s Elemakule Bitters

Shake with ice and pour unstrained into a chimney glass. Add crushed ice to fill and top with an orange wedge and mint sprig.

Mango, cane, rubber, allspice, and honey waft to the nose. Ahhh now the rum really appears. Spice and rich rummy flavors blend with the tropical liqueur and fresh citrus to make an almost vanilla middle. Following that the sour citrusy funk takes over in the finish. I guess this would be the Kuko for alchies like me.

 
Do you have some favorite not so craft boozes? Tell us about them in the comments and we might try to work our magic. Until next time…

 
“You get Hammered America” - JFL