The glass doubles as a blunt weapon

Today's drink: Old Fashioned

Today's ingredients: bourbon or rye, Angostura bitters, sugar cube, Maraschino cherry, (optional) Bittermilk No. #1 Bourbon Barrel Aged Old Fashioned mixer

Today's gadgets: muddler

Today's vocabulary: arcane

I am a budget-conscious tree-hugger. Let me count the ways:

• I ride a motorcycle that gets triple the gas mileage of my pickup truck (which is a necessity considering the not-infrequent need to transport lumber, landscaping materials, appliances, furniture, and dogs).
• I accelerate slowly and brake a day early (saves gas and maintenance costs).
• I maintain an organic vegetable garden (otherwise known as actual gardening, no chemicals, no cheating).
• I built most of our fence from recycled lumber and our entire front walkway from recycled brick.
• I use the metric f***-ton of leaves that fall from the massive oak tree in the front yard to cover planter beds, the vegetable garden, and behind the back fence to suppress weeds and maintain moisture.
• I compost practically everything that will compost (see: garden and leaves).
• I need more frequent pickups of my recycling bin than of my actual trash bin.

I'm sure there's more, but you get the point. Thankfully, I'm not alone in these pursuits, which is another "pro" on the ol' marriage checklist. The wife maintains a menagerie of plant life, something I just cannot do (except for edibles). She also enjoys gardening and will spend a couple full weekends canning the harvest (such as it is now--my bachelor pad had a 900-plus square foot plot of massive plant growth as I would harvest weekly by the laundry basket, but now I work with less than 400 square feet... on a slope... with only afternoon sunlight... *sigh*).

Arguably my favorite arcane hobby is my face. My mood drives my grooming habits, so when I grow a beard, I'm using beeswax, essential oils, and regular brushing to maintain it along with only the rarest of trimming. Nothing fancy or industrial. When I shave, I use a straight razor (with leather strop) or double-edge safety razor, badger-hair brush, and truly natural soaps and oils. This is not to brag, though. This is practical.

Wax on...

Wax off...

To put my shaving costs into perspective, I spent in the range of $300-400 to get my gear (the above mentioned items). That was about three years ago, and I haven't spent a dime on it since and, when I resume shaving, probably have at least another three years' worth of product remaining. Razor blades are about ten cents each; the straight razor requires almost no upkeep beyond a good stropping and occasional light honing on a piece of treated balsa wood.

By comparison, an eight-pack of Mach 3 Turbo cartridges runs about $20. Shave quality aside, figure you get 2-4 shaves from one cartridge, so you're going through a pack or two each month, depending on frequency. On the low end, that's $240 per year just in cartridges, not counting shaving cream (the heavily-marketed stuff is just terrible for your skin and wallet), or balm or aftershave (lots of alcohol in those, which dries out the skin). I was spending probably $300 PER YEAR on inferior, possibly skin-damaging products.

All this to say that arcane, outdated, or old fashioned practices aren't necessarily any of those things. Quality products yield quality results as well as a significant overall cost savings. My straight razor setup cost about $100 total between flea market purchase, blade reconditioning, and strop purchase. My only safety razor expense from then on would be blades, which are dirt-cheap. My only plant life investment each year is renting a tiller and aerator and buying some seed--compost and leaves serve as fertilizer, weed and bug suppressant, and moisture lock.

When you see a bottle of spirits that seems overpriced, it very well could be, but the ingredients we use here at Simply Distilled are investment-worthy, if not investment-grade. You won't see a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue or Pappy Van Winkle because, frankly, they aren't worth their asking price. You also won't see Johnny Walker Red or Jose Cuervo because, frankly, they aren't worth the taste bud damage.

Old Fashioned

This is one of my favorite iconic cocktails, both for its cultural history and for its simplicity. Most recently, Mad Men has featured this drink along with many others, but here's what the IBA has to say about this 200-year-old drinks:

• 4.5cl / 1.5oz bourbon or rye whiskey
• 2 dashes Angostura bitters
• 1 sugar cube
• A few dashes of water (optional)
• Place sugar cube in Old Fashioned glass and saturate with bitters. Add dash of plain water (optional).
• Muddle until dissolved.
• Fill glass with ice cubes and add whiskey.
• Garnish with orange slice and cocktail cherry.

There are a number of variations on this recipe; in fact, I left the orange out of mine as I like to stay pretty traditional with this one (though I also omit the lemon zest found in older versions). One thing that seems to have been lost in the Old Fashioned is that it was a stirred drink; nowadays, the muddling of fruit (usually orange) turns this clear concoction into a clouded mess. Not that it's a bad thing--it does make the IDEA of an Old Fashioned more accessible to more people--but it's just not my thing.

Muddle the sugar and bitters (and water, if used), and nothing else

The traditional-slash-official Old Fashioned recipe really focuses on the quality of the whiskey, so this is where you probably want something better than Jack Daniels. I tried this with Wild Turkey 101 (0.375L for about $12), which astounded the wife. Yes, Wild Turkey does have a reputation as a lower-end whiskey, especially its "81" version, but the entire Wild Turkey lineup (except American Honey) has its merits. I think the "ick" factor might come from WT's relatively high rye content, which adds a bite that most people don't like or expect, but if you know it's coming, it's actually a respectable spirit for the price. Other suggested economical whiskies include: Rittenhouse Rye Bottled in Bond (remember that one?), Whistle Pig Straight Rye, Bulleit Rye, Jefferson Small Batch bourbon, and Woodford Reserve bourbon.

Bonus: Bittermilk Bourbon Barrel Aged Old Fashioned

Remember that whole thing about laziness and simplicity that started this website in the first place? Really want to just pop and pour a good cocktail? Then check out the recipe for No. 1 from Bittermilk:

Loving that old-timey medicine bottle aesthetic

• 4 parts bourbon or rye whiskey
• 1 part Bittermilk No. 1
• Build ingredients over ice in Old Fashioned glass and stir.

Easy, right? Now, this is a good, stout cocktail. Note the "parts" part. I did a four-ounce version with 3oz Wild Turkey 101 and 3/4oz No. 1. They recommend using a rye or something else that will shine through since the mixer is concentrated and, honestly, pretty potent, so you'll want a robust whiskey to fight through and be noticed (but not overpowering). The Wild Turkey worked great for me; the Rittenhouse got lost in the shuffle.

Bittermilk lives in Charleston, South Carolina, and so is local-ish to Charlotte; however, their distribution is pretty far-reaching, and they ship as well. We'll use more of their products as alternatives to future recipes, and who knows? We might come up with some other unexpected uses for their goods as we go along. For now, get some.