Have Flask, Will Travel (Part 2)
Contributed by on Aug 21, 2015
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The Record-Breaker, OR, The Shark’s Tale
According to John Waldman’s book 100 Weird Ways to Catch Fish, legend has it that ancient tribes of the South Pacific, known as the Oungeuaol, would build life-sized shark sculptures using coconuts and almonds as part of their pre-shark fishing ritual. This drink, sometimes called the Tropical Martini, is a simple and delicious tribute to the brave shark fishermen who came before us. Whether you’re out on your jon boat on the backyard creek or off the coast of Papua New Guinea in your ancient catamaran, don’t forget to grab a styrofoam cooler full of ice, and pack your flasks with amaretto and coconut rum. Add the two evenly to a chilled glass (or over ice in a pinch), stir the contents, and raise your glasses to the Oungeuaol fishermen who caught and killed the greatest ocean predators.
Whether you prefer it with mayo or warm butter, there’s no arguing that, with the advent of overnight shipments, America is in full Lobster Roll mode. Whether you’re on Bar Harbor or Harbor Springs, it’s the perfect shoreline sandwich, and it demands a bright, crisp drink. Next time you head to your beach’s lobster shack, pack your hip with gin, order a couple orange sodas (if you’re on the East Coast, ask for a Polar Orange Cream, anywhere else, seek out a Nesbitt’s…trust me), two cups of ice, two lemon wedges, and a ramekin of Old Bay or similar seafood seasoning. Spread the Old Bay on a napkin, wet the rim of your cups with an ice cube, sift the rims around in the Old Bay, and add half a flask of gin to each cup, top with orange soda, spritz with lemon wedges, and yarr, matey! Enjoy!
Next time you find yourself suckin’ on chilidogs outside your favorite ice cream stand or drive-in, bring along a flask of cognac. A drink based on the favored beverage one of Spain’s kings, this version is definitely lowlier, to say the least. With this pauper’s version, the spicy heat of the chilidog will easily be extinguished by the sugary dousing of strawberry sundae topping and the effervescent bubbles of a lemon-lime soft drink. Ask the ice cream scoop kid if you can have a small cup of the strawberry topping (four small spoonfuls is all you’ll need). Order a small cup of The Uncola, and pour half into a separate cup of ice. Drop two or three spoonfuls of the strawberry topping over your 7-Up, add half the cognac you brought to each cup, stir vigorously, and enjoy. To save some dough for the dipped ice cream cone that is sure to follow, stick with cognacs called “VS,” which stands for “Very Special,” not as expensive as the VSOP (“Old Pales”), but still very, very good. Whether you were the king of your high school or the second largest country in Western Europe, you’re sure to appreciate this refreshing drink long after the thrill of living is gone.
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