We're guessing you're no wine steward but that you have some knowledge about wine. Namely, that it's made from fermented grapes, it's available in a box or a bottle, it's healthy when consumed in moderation, and the most coveted vino on the planet is that which has been stomped by the dwarfish feet of the Atlanta Grape Lady.

Our guess, it's pairing wine with food that poses problems. If you're on a date and you're ordering a bottle, ask the server to suggest something based on your entrées. You can also defer to your date, but that could cost you a pretty penny later on.

But how about when you're in the mood for wine and greasy bar food, like pizza, mac and cheese, or chicken wings? For help, we turned to award-winning sommelier and restaurant owner Bertil Jean-Chronberg, who offered these four bullets for getting started …

• Make sure your wine matches your sauce. Example: Ketchup is red so you're going to pair it with — that's right! — a red wine.

• Try to synch the aroma of the wine with the aromas of the sauce, and the taste of the wine with the taste of whatever vegetables are on your plate.

• Pairing wine with vinegar, eggs, asparagus, or any kind of soup will overpower the taste of the wine or the food.

• Screw the rules. “If you’re happy with drinking a White Zinfandel with a big steak, even though I wouldn’t recommend it, do what works for you,” he said.

NEXT: PIZZA

#1. PIZZA

Pepperoni is the most popular pizza topping. (Fun fact: mushrooms came in second.) To complement the meat on your za, Jean-Chronber recommends Primitivo, a ruddy, dark, earthy red grape. Another option: Rib Shack Red, a blend full of dark berry flavors and smokey oak spice that compliments roni or BBQ toppings.

#2. MAC AND CHEESE or QUESADILLAS

You're supposed to pair your wine with the color of the sauce —the sauces here being the dish's cheese and rue. And unless you're at some upscale trendy bar that's offering macaroni and cheese (and they might refer to it simply as "Mac," those pretentious pricks!), plan to pair your wine with American cheese. Jean-Chronberg recommends a White Zinfandel. A sharper white wine option? Sauvignon Blanc. Use the same rules for quesadillas or an almost-red wine for your orange cheese, like a Rosé.

#3. CHICKEN TENDERS

Fried chicken without ketchup means your wine is the sauce that complements the lard, er, meal. Since the chicken is crispy, grab a crisp wine like a chardonnay or Prosecco. (Prosecco is high in carbonation and cuts through the greasiness of a fried tender.) With ketchup, choose a red that will complement the tomatoes, Jean-Chronberg said. Try a Sangiovese.

Also: Find out why rubs are way better than marinades

When the chicken is grilled, things change up. In this case, go with Pinot Noir — high in acidity, light in tannin (that dry sensation you’ll get in your mouth when drinking some red wines), and has a pleasant aroma. “Pinot Noir made love with chicken a thousand years ago, and they haven't stopped being in love," he said. In other words, wines are sexually active. Who knew?

#4. FISH 'N' CHIPS

Since the chips make the meal oily and crunchy and essentially balance the dryness of the fish, a Sauvignon Blanc is a good pick. However, if you bathe your fish 'n' chips in vinegar, you might want to skip the vino altogether. “Wine and vinegar do not mix,” Jean-Chronberg warns. “That’s why British culture ignores wine in favor of beer.”

#5. TANDOORI DUCK/TERIYAKI

Duck might be on the fancy side of a bar menu, but it could always be offered as an appetizer — or the restaurant could be stationed near a pond. Point is, you never know. But ducks are fattier than most fowl, so you'll want a Malbec; its tannins can help your palate taste more of the wine than the fat. Your best bet: Alamos Malbec, an Argentinean wine that's rich with fruit flavors and earthy notes.

Jean Chronberg also suggests pairing Malbec with Montreal Spiced Chicken Wings or BBQ chicken wings, as long as the sauce is heavy. Which is how you like it, anyway ... unless you're a sissy.