So if you’ve read Rated R Cocktails before you know classic cocktails are not my bag. Sure I love a Negroni, a French 75, a Rob Roy, and a hipster juice, but Tiki is my bag. It’s only because I love my longtime Twitter and Mixoloseum buddy Dagreb from Nihil Utopia that I participate in this month’s MxMo. I do love Martini’s but this month we’re making “Not A Martini”.

Okay so confessional time, I love gin. Gin sadly does not last around here because I tend to drink it straight with a lime twist. My Alcoholism aside I also love Martini’s, but I won’t be happy without olives. To me a martini needs olives, and all the twists in the world won’t replace them, though that doesn’t mean I want you to add olive juice. Read this: If I come in to your bar and order a martini I’d like one or more olives in the damn drink. That being said I like vermouth to though you’d never know it by reading the site. The next time I order a martini with an olive and someone gives me a twist instead I’m going to snap their damn suspenders and shave their moustache. Seriously if you don’t have olives give me a pickle or something salty, but take your lemon peel and shove it in a Sazerac.

 
This month however we’re making NOT a Martini. So immediately I grabbed my banana…My Giffard Banana, cheeky monkey. I didn’t want it to just be banana and gin though so I thought to add some Benedictine and Elemakule Bitters to bring the spice. Benedictine cause Good Lord knows I need that monk juice, and Elemakule because well, Bitterman’s is the shit. Also the name may or may not mean Horny Monkey in Hawaiian. You don’t know! You statistically don’t speak Hawaiian.

Mane’o Keke Martini
2 ½ oz Beefeater Gin (or if your a Gin Addict like me 2 oz of Plymouth Navy Strength)
½ oz Giffard Banana de Bresil
½ oz Dolin Dry Vermouth
¼ oz Benedictine
dash Bitterman’s Elemakule Bitters

Place your spoon all the way to the bottom of your tin, add just enough ice to go slightly above the liquid line. Stir using your wrist only, holding your arm straight for 35 to 45 seconds. Strain into a chilled coupe and garnish with a lime peel. Use a channel knife to get a long strip then twirl both ends into a tight coil over the drink before draping over.

Nose of fresh lime, juniper, bruleed banana, and gentian. The gin and banana are having a sexy party chasing each other around the drink. Occasionally they take a break to let Benedictine, and Dolin dry vermouth have a Pillow fight. The bitters keep things spicy and mysterious like a girl who can type with her toes. All in all this drink is great if you like to have fun with your mouth…cheeky monkey.

Well I hope you’ve enjoyed our little entry. I’m not a classic cocktail maestro like some of my friends, but I like this drink. Also seek out the Giffard, because nothing else will come even close. Giffard makes simply the best when it comes to liqueurs, and you’ll be glad you spent the extra money. Anything less WILL ruin this drink. Giffard isn’t paying me for this, but they are welcome to send me free stuff anytime they like. Also if they could make an equally divine pineapple liqueur that would be awesome. Drunkenly Yours….

“You get Hammered America” – JFL