The sky is falling and the whiskey rage is about to go bust — or at least that’s the rumor, claim, theory, feeling, opinion, premonition, guess, or something Clyde on the bench told them. Whiskey doomsday is upon us all; run and hide. Drink it all before the upcoming Distilled Celery Juice rage displaces American Whiskey.

I’m a bit tired of the Whiskey Armageddon talk with nothing more than an Idea. This “bubble” that is “bursting” has been steadily growing for 10 years. Are designer cloths, fragrances and electronics going bust? Are expensive cars and homes a “fad”?

The brands people keep throwing darts at are mostly limited and high dollar releases. Only one comes to mind not hitting home runs: The Woodford Four Wood at $100 a bottle took a bit of time to leave the shelves, as did the Rye. Some 20,000 were produced. No real positive buzz (perhaps the opposite), but just the impression by the unknowing that it was special enough moved most of it at huge profits. All for a year or two of aging in other woods or different mashbills. It’s the only annual release that gets giggles when whiskey geeks talk of such things. So this is a rare exception for a popular premium brand I happen to like.

In the last five years, Bourbon value brands have increased in sales 13 percent and all brands are up 28 percent in profits. Nothing is bursting but wallets. The “ultra” and “super premium” category Bourbon brands these “doomsayers” reference are up 100 to 300 percent. Due to reasons such as taxes, marketing and supply, some of the largest countries have minimal imports. So there’s growth, not that it’s needed. Customers are becoming increasingly knowledgeable, turning of legal age, and able to afford more expensive options.

Three young women asked me for help with bourbon recently while I was in the aisle, apparently thinking I worked there. Three years ago that would surprise me, but not now. People are branching out, they are looking for better, cool stuff — especially stuff with buzz. Social media is the blame when a popular person or expert can say “Wow, this Skunk Piss 15 year old is great” and, poof, no more Skunk Piss on the shelves.

Trade press gives something a 94 in what essentially uses 15 percent of a 100-point scale for almost all their reviews. Within a day the info has been referenced and re-tweeted to millions of people, who then start calling the store months before release. Something like Birthday Bourbon a little over a year ago was an unknown shelf orphan to all but a knowledgeable few, and now a rage with the herd chasing it.

Bubble? I’ll say it — you’re delusional if you think this is going to end. Growth might slow down but the industry marketing machine won’t let it go down. Someone puts out an average release or new brand and suddenly “Doctor Expert Drinker” and “Professor Send Me Free Samples” say it’s wonderful, even when 100 others say it sucks. Guess what reviews get tweeted out by the distillery?

Seems anyone with an iPhone and an address can get free samples to review these days, and if you give it a good review, you get lots more stuff from all over. My policy on free samples is keep them. I’ve asked for one pre-release of the Voldemort Bourbon to send out in my blind tasting so I wouldn’t have to wait but never got it, while Clyde that sits on the bench next to my van down by the river gets plenty. (Clyde is a made up Whiskey Metaphor just to be clear for the past and future.) Clyde then gets put on the shelf talker.

Not only aren’t there any signs Whiskey is bursting, ignored or un-researched facts show the exact opposite. Next time you read about Distillation Doomsday, look for any real basis, some proof. Anything other than baseless drool!

Just show us a shelf full of the “real good stuff” somewhere that stays that way for more than a week. I’ll even take that as a little proof.

Just some real stats:
http://www.discus.org/assets/1/7/Bourbon_2012.pdf
http://www.discus.org/assets/1/7/Distilled_Spirits_Industry_Briefing_Feb_6.pdf