DrinkWire is Liquor.com’s showcase for the best articles, recipe and reviews from the web’s top writers and bloggers. In this post, Drinking in America ranks cocktail garnishes.

We’re about to get to the important business of ranking cocktail garnishes. But first, a few ground rules.

Rule #1: We’re talking about edible cocktail garnishes. We can debate the relative merits of cocktail umbrellas and those little plastic animals/choking hazards in your scorpion bowl another day.

Rule #2: If it’s on your spice rack, it doesn’t count. Sorry, salt and cinnamon rims.

Rule #3: No novelty garnishes. Because it’s clearly unfair to make fruit and vegetables compete against cheeseburgers.

Now let’s do this.

10. Celery
I guess you can stir your drink with it? Other than that, it tastes bad and it physically gets in the way of drinking the Bloody Mary you desperately need. Awful garnish.

9. Orange
Orange slices are for children’s soccer games, not cocktails.

8. Onion
I don’t understand why cocktail onions exist, but I’m willing to learn.

7. Lemon
Lemons, perhaps the most common drink garnish, are way overrated. Have you ever been truly excited there was a lemon in your drink? No.

6. Pineapple
A pineapple garnish means you’re at a tiki bar with some big, colorful, tropical drink in front of you. Nice work.

5. Cucumber
A wheel of cucumber on the rim of your drink instantly makes you 46% more classy. It’s science.

4. Cherry
Maraschino cherries are delicious. It’s like a free dessert with your drink.

3. Mint
What makes mojitos and mint juleps so great? Booze, yeah, but also mint. It gives the drink a unique flavor and it looks all cool and leafy.

2. Olive
We salute you, person who decided to plunk some olives in a glass of booze and call it a martini.

1. Lime
Coronas, cosmos, margaritas, mojitos, vodka-sodas, gin-and-tonics, rum-and-cokes… Lime makes so many drinks better, which is why we’re crowning it America’s Top Garnish.

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