Much like the red, green and overly pepperminted cocktails of the Christmas season, the Valentine’s season provides an excuse for bars and restaurants to force us to shell out $12 for a wide variety of terrible drinks that are given cutesy names and extreme levels of sugar. Restaurants know that they can shame people (mostly men) into paying for diabetes-accelerating potions spiked with grenadine, PAMA pomegranate liqueur and the Raspberry flavored Chambord. These ingredients serve no purpose other than to turn it red and add about 200 calories of pure sugar to the drink. These drinks are always advertised as something sickly cute like “Valentini” or “Lover’s Kiss” or “Snuggle Cup.” Ugh…

“But they’re sweet and red… for VALENTINES!!” you say.

No.

Just no.

*rolls up newspaper and smacks you on the nose*

Bad drinker. Don’t pay for that crap any more!!

—

While the title of this post might trick you into thinking that I will give you recipes for the sugar-rimmed monstrosities that we've all seen in restaurants, but I don’t EVER want to encourage this kind of irresponsible bartending. It’s a crime to charge $15 for a a coupe glass filled with strawberry topping, sugar and bottom shelf vodka (you can’t taste it over the sugar anyway!). It’s a travesty… and I will never distribute the recipes to these Frankenstein’s monster “cocktails.”

But what should I drink on Valentine’s Day?

Well, there are so many options for alcoholic additions to your sexy night…If you’re in the mood for something sweeter, I’d go with a delicious drink that has, unfortunately been relegated to hipster brunch places on Capitol Hill.

Bellini

1 part Peach Puree

2 parts Champagne

—

Fresh peach is great for this drink and adds a sweet, sexy, silky feeling when mixed with good Champagne. It’s sweet, but a little tart, and the bubbles add a nice depth to the drink.

A note to my macho male readers… this drink was 1) created by an Italian man, 2) served first in Harry’s bar in Venice, 3) enjoyed by such manly men as Andy Musson, Ernest Hemingway and Sinclair Lewis and 4) does not mean that you are any less of a man. If you are uncomfortable being seen in a bar with a slightly pink drink served in a champagne flute, you’ve got bigger problems. Real men drink champagne. Make this drink for your partner, or just order a round at a bar, and see what happens next. *bow chicha bow wow*

But I REALLY want my drink to be red, it is Valentine’s Day after all…

If you want something red, because you need to see the color red to get in that special Valentine’s mood… all of these options are great!

The Negroni (equal parts Gin, Campari, and Sweet Vermouth)

The Boulevardier (1.5 parts bourbon, 1 part Campari, 1 part Sweet Vermouth)

Vodka & Cranberry (umm… vodka… and cranberry juice)

Red wine (share a bottle with your partner!)

---

Cheers!