The “trendy” thing to do these days is open a cocktail or whiskey bar. There has always seemed to have been high-end places with Scotch, but American Whiskey is now “in.”

I’ve already written on the places that advertise “over 200” bottles, that in reality have nothing special, horrid young craft stuff or nothing more than a bunch of sourced whiskey brands. Then there is the old “rope a dope” when they get you into the bar based on old reviews and online menus that ceased being accurate around the time of the last Triple Crown (Affirmed, 1978).

Want Van Winkle, Buffalo Trace Antique Collection brands, Parker Heritage or limited editions of Four Roses? If so, you’re going to be disappointed most of the time. Perhaps it’s the inability to foresee the popularity of a brand or Special Release and get enough of it. Maybe it’s priced too affordably.

Yes, that’s a Catch-22. To affordable or too expensive-I’ll cover that too.

Often, it’s simply allocation and lack of any or much of a supply. These things are valid reasons, but many times the staff and management are still in “Vodka” mode, forgetting what they are supposedly specializing in this week. Many great places struggle with the realities of charging crazy prices to preserve the best stuff and risk seeming greedy (unintentionally so) or running out sometime in January until next fall’s releases come in. Charging $100 a shot for the two bottles of Pappy 23 expected to last a year is a convenient problem to have just the same.

Then again, places with seemingly never-ending supplies reek of a Whiskey Angel, friend of Julian, or refilled bottles, the latter of which is becoming a huge problem. When 95 percent of the potential customers of the fake contents of a refill “fake” can’t tell the difference, it’s a license to steal. Unless you’re guzzling Pappy regularly, you’re not likely to spot a refill using a $35 bottle of Weller 12 or perhaps even brown-colored Kool-Aid for many new to the hobby. And if you’re lucky enough to have a bunch you’re drinking regularly, you’re most likely not paying a C-Note for a pour of Pappy at a bar.

As I’ve written before, I’ve tracked some eBay sales of empty Pappy bottles and it’s doubled and tripled the past few years. Many buyers are bars, including Whiskey bars, so buyer beware.

I fear the recent New Jersey TGI Friday franchise that was caught in multiple locations rampantly doing refills of mid level booze is just the tip of the Iceberg.

So, then, is a great, legitimate selection what makes a great Whiskey bar? No. I’m in the midst of writing an eventual post of a recent three-week span that included visiting about 10 whiskey bars, including 5 of what I had referred to as being in my top ten. Some I had already been to. Of four supposed “Top Ten” in Kentucky, only Silver Dollar could be recommended. Twisted Spoke and Delilah’s in Chicago were everything I had heard and a joy to have visited.

As for Jack Rose in D.C., I made two visits weeks apart. The first night wasn’t so bad; because the staff and I talked about new Bourbon that had just come in and tried several with the staff that hadn’t been opened yet. They didn’t need to show their weak knowledge seemingly the norm, as I didn’t challenge them much. The second visit was a complete letdown based on a disappointment in staff knowledge. They have walls lined with lots of great things, but were sold out of some fairly modern gems. But if you’re a Whiskey bar now, how about hiring some real Whiskey people to serve?

I was there once about a year ago, then twice within a month. All three times, the staff encountered were relatively new to Whiskey and had hardly a clue. Good people that tried and were super helpful, but the thought that people were coming there with the impression that these people were experts is off base. Unless an owner or Harvey (the scotch expert) is there, you better know your stuff when you walk in. It took them 10 minutes to search for a fairly well known Bourbon they supposedly had. After climbing ladders and repeatedly bringing the wrong bottle down, it became increasingly clear they were lost. Admittedly, only a Whiskey geek would most likely notice but I did.

This isn’t a rare situation. I’ve seen it all over. Frequently owners and managers don’t have a clue. If the place has been open a while, older staff don’t have much time to teach the newer staff. That’s if the older staff are half decent to begin with, and they often aren’t. I’ve had friends who started Whiskey bars ask me to train staff. A year later, with turnover, not much of the knowledge had been retained. I’ve asked a room full of new staff what percent corn a bourbon must be by blind ballot. Maybe 1 in 5 know the correct answer. Is it that hard to hire the right people or perhaps is there no one with the knowledge to begin with doing the hiring?

Yes, I’m a Whiskey geek. A geek’s geek. I’ve spent the time and effort reading, learning and talking. When a customer asks for a good wheated Whiskey and the bartender thinks they are talking about a beer, I’m sorry, you’re not a Whiskey bar, you’re a bar with Whiskey. A few months back I jumped on Heather Greene in New York City because she was being endlessly referred to as a “Whiskey sommelier” and it ticked me off at the time. I’ve changed my tune now because if there was a real certification and training of such a thing, it would be a good thing. There are faux certifications that touch on it currently. There are also some people and organizations working to capitalize on “expertizing” such certifications, but it’s going to be a money grab for the most part. I doubt one such program will break out as the best or “real” certification.

So, if Clyde goes and opens Clyde’s Bourbon Academy and certifies a bartender so that they can work at Jack Rose, does it do anything, really? I try so hard to sit quietly and not correct bar staff when they say things to a customer like “Bourbon is from Kentucky” or “Michter’s is the country’s oldest distillery.”

I don’t mind when a bartender that knows I know my way around a Whiskey bar asks me a question. I’ve had fun nights when such things turn into impromptu training sessions for staff and customers that sell a crap load of booze as a result.

There are also elitist Whiskey bars too! Places where the good stuff’s behind the bar, upstairs, locked up by the owner or plain old private. One of my cool favorites is the Whisky Attic in Vegas. Trouble is, if the owner’s not doing a tasting class there, you’d better be one of the very few that can make an appointment to drink from the collection. Many times, it’s a law thing. If the bar didn’t buy the booze through the proper channels or it was never for sale while in business, then they could find themselves out of business. I’ve seen many a Whiskey bar with what appears to have an elitist demeanor that was only doing so because the competition has dropped a dime on many occasions with the authorities. You’ll see “private reserve, not for sale” or maybe “owner’s private stash” and such.

It still brings me back to what makes a great Whiskey bar: It’s not snooty, walnut-lined ambiance. Twisted Spoke and Delilah’s were cool and comfortable, but very far from snooty, as was Silver Dollar. It’s not a world-class collection, because I know it’s super rare to find such a collection of gems that hasn’t been picked over and depleted. But you also can’t have the collection and walnut with a staff best suited for making Mai Tais and pouring beer. Honesty is important. Don’t have a three-page menu of Whiskey wherein a page of it hasn’t been seen for a year or more. Don’t keep such sold out stuff posted online. You might get people in the door but they won’t stay or be back if they have a clue and many customers are learning much faster than the places they are patronizing are. Do know what the hell you’re doing and make sure the staff does. Most of these places’ shortcomings can usually hide in plain sight, because who will know? The trend is a moving target that is maybe hard to hit. There are lots of great Whiskey people out there who can train staff.

Trade and mainstream media need to do their homework and not reward average places with inclusions on “best of” lists. These lists are often regurgitated and hardly ever have the authors recently been to these places before they hand out the best-of trophy. It’s no different than a soccer coach hearing that a kid in a school 20 miles away is really great at football, then tells some parents this kid is one of the best in the state when not only is it not his area of expertise, but he’s never seen the kid play or ever seen a stat of his.

So, the best-of lists create something like a Jockey Silks in Louisville that lost its greatness several years ago before the Whiskey craze began. It’s now nothing more than a former beauty queen turned meth head. She once was beautiful now look at her. Most of these publications don’t know what’s happened, have never done their own checking.

Then you have a place like Haymarket Whiskey Bar that doesn’t show up on any of these people’s radars and serves to illustrate these best-of lists’ obsolescence. Haymarket is a ratty place on the seedy side of downtown Louisville, but the place seems to have it all. It’s lack of ambiance becomes its ambiance.

I’ve also fallen into the trap myself. I’ve heard great things about Canon in Seattle. I’ve recommended them on rep alone without ever being there. I’d recommend Jack Rose to a geek in a heartbeat, but never a newbie. The place is too overwhelming without great staff to act as a rudder.

A great Whiskey bar is the one you want to go back to the moment you leave, when your head stops hurting or when the room finally stops spinning. Great is very individual and not the same for all of us or our expectations. Great is your choice or the opinions of those you seriously trust who say it is great.