Today's cocktail: pop-and-pour (aka none)

Today's ingredients: your choice of a single spirit

Today's gadgets: various glassware, whiskey stones, dropper

Today's vocabulary: better get a notepad (and a drink)

Yep, sorry, no cocktail this time. I was sequestered in Theaterland last week doing audio for a run of West Side Story. As I am writing this, I have not had a single sip of alcohol in at least eight days (I actually don't remember much before the tech work started; it all just sorta runs together). However, that does give us a chance to talk about something I've wanted to for awhile: how to taste stuff (hint: it doesn't involve walking around and randomly licking things).

I like to think I have a healthy relationship with my favorite spirits purveyor. I would hope so, at least, since I drive more than a half-hour and pass a half-dozen other stores on the way to that one. Granted, they're trying to sell me something, but they also know that I'm more interested in quality and experience than quantity and, well, quantity. I'll pay more for a little bit of something great rather than buy something mediocre in bulk. Part of that relationship is the candid exchange of opinions of different products. The owner/manager/guy I see every time makes a point to say hey whenever I'm there, and we always spend a few minutes talking about what we've had recently, what's new and rare in the store, and so on. He knows I'm there to spend some money, so he makes sure that I'm happy with my purchases. I really appreciate that, which is why I keep going back. I'm sure others have had similar experiences there.

This brings me to today's no-recipe post. I recently bought a whiskey that, in my opinion, has a somewhat interesting story to it (I won't mention the name because I don't want to pass judgment on it just yet). I'm willing to buy a good story (especially at the price point I did). This whiskey has been around a couple years but was new to the store, so the manager-guy-person asked me to let him know what I thought of it since I tend to give good, honest feedback.

The problem is that I'm stumped on this one. There's not a lot of information out there about it. As with most new (to me) liquors, I'll give it a taste first, then read up on it, then taste it again a few days later. I do this because I want my first impression (after the sales pitch) to be as unbiased as possible. I want to try to figure out what I'm seeing, what I'm smelling, and what I'm tasting on my own without outside suggestion and form my own opinion before reading the marketing or finding out what others have had to say about it. I also want to be able to give a comprehensive opinion without overly influencing someone else's opinion beyond whether or not to spend money on the bottle.

I will keep working on this whiskey, ya know, for science, but I really will have to give SOME kind of answer in the next day or so since I've had this bottle for a couple weeks now. In the meantime, let's dive into the deliberate tasting of spirits.

How to Train Your Flagon

I'm going to make this as Cliff's Notes-ish as possible. I could probably spend a separate post on each part of the tasting process, but then, you'd get bored, I'd get bored, and we'd end up drinking anyway without full, proper enjoyment of stand-alone liquors. You're welcome in advance. Now, to start, two rules:

Rule #1: Drink what you like, how you like.

Back when I free-wrote the About diatribe, I rambled a little about different camps in the tasting process. Some say you have to do it a "one true way." Others say you do it however you want. At the end of the day, it's your money, it's your bottle, it's your body, and it's your time.

Rule #2: see Rule #1

Being

Before we even think about opening a bottle, how are you feeling? Are you awake? Alert? Relaxed? Sinuses clear? Hydrated? Ovulating? Seriously, all these things go into how you will perceive a drink. If work is beating you down, your stress hormones will be elevated. If you have a cold, you need to focus on getting better first. If you just got back from a hardcore workout, you may be dehydrated. Ladies, you may notice changes in taste and smell during your cycle or pregnancy. I don't want to get too crunchy here, but it really helps to be in a familiar, repeatable place physically and mentally, so take a minute to know yourself (not in the Biblical sense) and be ready to receive an experience. Also, limit any cologne, perfume, and anything else that gives off a scent. Have a glass of water nearby.

Holding

So, you've bought a bottle of something you want to try on its own. Good for you! Now what? Well, you have to pour it into something. You'll find through trial-and-error what glassware does to different spirits, and of course, it's up to your preference. However, the first time you try an alcohol, consider something like a red wine glass, a brandy snifter, a glencairn, or anything else that is fairly small with the opening smaller than the largest diameter of the bulb. This goes for ALL alcohol being consumed for taste and not effect, and it allows the nose (aka bouquet or aroma) of the spirit to collect and channel toward your smell-o-vision. After all, a large component of taste is smell, and wider-topped glassware disperses these vapors too widely (see: common pub pint glass).

Pouring

Generally, a simple tasting will be just a pop-and-pour affair of maybe an ounce or so, just enough to coat the inside of your mouth a couple times. Depending on your preferences and tolerances, you may wish to modify the spirit with a drop or two of filtered or distilled water (tap water contains trace amounts of minerals that can alter the flavor). If you find a spirit too bracing or overpowering at first, don't write it off immediately. "Reset" yourself (see Smelling and Tasting below) and use a dropper to add literally a drop or two or three to a one-ounce taster until it becomes more palatable. Remember, this is for you to enjoy how you like, not to force down what someone else says is the "one true way."

Seeing

Now that you have your spirit in a glass (self-help book title, anyone?), what does it look like? Different liquors with different processing from different companies in different locations all have unique characteristics. Coloring will tell you something: darker colors may mean more time spend aging; lighter colors may point to different base ingredients; a red tint might mean maturing in used wine or port barrels. Swirl the liquid around in the glass and see if it has "legs," referring to its presence on the sides of the glass. There are some physics involved with what is actually happening, but generally speaking, a solid film points to a heavier mouthfeel (more in a sec) and a longer finish (also more in a sec); lots of streaking means a lighter spirit that will likely taste more alcohol-y but will dissipate quickly. I won't say what is good or bad because that's up to you, but you'll notice which qualities of liquor produce which legs.

Smelling

Quick, turn your head and take a deep inhalation of your shirt. Good? Cool. You just "reset" your smell receptors. Now, bring the glass closer to your nose while you take short, staccato-like sniffs (like a dog checking the wind). Better to work your way toward the smell bit-by-bit rather than take a full whiff right away, just in case. Before you do take that one big whiff with your nose stuck into the glass, "reset" your olfactories, then dive in (if you can or want to--some drinks with a high-alcohol nose can sting the nostrils a bit). Do this a couple times and think about what smells you're getting. This could vary greatly depending on your health, location, temperature, humidity, and other factors. Just forewarning.

Tasting

Aaaaaaallllllrighty then, we're finally here. And you thought this is where we would've started. Who knew, right? Anyway, got that glass of water handy? If you're feeling a little parched or dry-mouthed, take a quick swig of water and swish it around your mouth. Dry-mouth can ruin a tasting since the alcohol component is exaggerated in the absence of other moisture. Now, if you want to get pretentious about it, there are two steps to the actual tasting part, divided into half-ounce increments and taking 5-10 seconds each:

1. The hot coffee sip - Approach the first taste like you just got lawsuit-level hot coffee from the drive-thru, then swish like with mouthwash. As the alcohol absorbs and the liquid passes, smack your lips like a dog with a tongue covered in peanut butter. This activity creates aeration that helps to release some of the flavors of the drink without coating your mouth. Swallow and wait to see what happens--this is called the finish. Is it long or short? Peppery or silky? Same flavors or new? Be patient and think about it. When this is done, take a cleansing sip of water and a sniff of shirt to reset your senses.
2. The caramel roll - The second taste is more deliberate and savory. Try to take in the remaining liquid without allowing any air to enter. Then, roll it around the airless space of your mouth like you're working on a Rollo or a cough drop (yes, you might make a fish face). This is the mouth-coating taste. Does it taste the same, or are you finding new flavors? How does it physically feel, heavy or light? Again, let the finish play out.

Reviewing

Now, it's time to be influenced without being under the influence. One way to track your tastings is with a flavor wheel. There are some seriously intricate and detailed flavor wheels out there. Many of these are geared toward scotch, which is traditionally more subtle and nuanced than American whiskies, but that's starting to change, especially with bourbon. Take a look at these or whatever else Google pops up and see if you noticed some of the flavors in your tasting.

If you're the type of person who likes to keep notes on different experiences, either just for fun or for reference when buying other products, consider buying or compiling a review notebook. Blank review sheets can be found online for printing to start out (look for "tasting template"). By and large, these only really exist for bourbon, scotch, wine, coffee, and cigars, but don't let that put you off from trying other stuff, though. Coming from whiskies first, I really like the spectrum of characteristics in tequila now that I wouldn't have appreciated as much going in the other direction.

Enjoying

It's up to you. Need a couple drops of water? Now you know. Throw them in. Want a little chill in your dram? Toss in some whiskey stones (not ice unless it's filtered water from a large-form mold--don't want to alter the actual taste with melting ice). Cold night? Use a glass that you can cup your hand under/around to add some residual warmth. Too much alcohol in the nose? Go with a wider-topped glass. Drink, fill, repeat.

Which brings me back to my original point. I don't do reviews on this blog. I like a lot of stuff that others may not. I don't like a lot of stuff that others may love. It's all a matter of personal preference (and disposable income). You do you. Now, these look awfully empty...