Can you imagine working on this thing day in and day out, while you could be out drinking beers?

Some surreal news from the ‘Big Apple’, as the New York Post revealed that serious damage was done to 30 Manhattan court cases. Apparently an alcoholic stenographer named Daniel Kochanski (43) was so sick of the boring work that kept him from drinking that he decided to write it down. Instead of the trial dialogue the stenographer just pressed random keys and repeatedly wrote ‘I hate my job, I hate my job, I hate my job’. Although Kochanski got fired in March 2012, a huge amount of damage control had to be done. Judges needed to have ‘reconstruction hearings’ to get at least something about these cases on paper. 

Kochanski himself denied to the New York Post that he screwed up any transcripts. “I never typed gibberish. I always did my job 100 percent. I was let go because of substance abuse. But I’m in recovery. July will be one year I’m clean.” Well, despite this testimony we still (like to) believe the anonymous source was right. It might have costed the city of New York a few extra bucks, but let’s look on the bright side: Kochanski singlehandedly created work for a lot of people during times of economic crisis, gave at least 30 convicts a second chance in life and provided the world with a great story. So cheers to him.

Micky Bumbar

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Other remarkable news items on Lords of the Drinks:

Drunken groom arrested at the altar

Drunk woman smashes the house after husband refused to have sex with her

Australian man kills his friend over a few beers

‘Kim Jong-un very drunk when ordering executions’

Drunk French guys take lama for a tram ride